Sometimes

In fact, anything done out of the flesh amounts to nothing.
sometimes things are said or done out of a sincere heart, seeing your close friend living under the mountain that has moved,

above all, if a heart is hardened to even a stranger's words whom i believe he wrote it by the Holy Spirit, then i have to say that it would take 100% God's grace to remove the stones from his heart.

Shalom.

REST.

rest. rest rest.
i thank God that there were two days for me to run during this week. another day tmr!
in fact for those two days, i really wanted to just nua at home after work, but He gave me the strength to carry on. and i love those runs with You Jesus.
the night breeze across my face, doesn't matter how the singlet hangs across my frame.
i just realize something, my singlet seems to hang upon my frame instead of fitting my frame.
never mind. God renews my youth like the eagles~
a night run always makes me sort out my thoughts with Him. In a sense it's a rest.
though rest can mean doing absolutely nothing at all..

my idea of a rest, there're many ways.
first is go for a run,
read a book
listen to sermons and just lie on the bed,
and of course, reading the Word feels restful to me.

ever since i've taken up this job, just feel the urgent need to set aside time every morning to just spend some quiet time with Abba.
cos everyday at the workplace, it's not a job whereby there's lots of time to surf net and do nothing.
every minute in the office, there's always something to do,
whether it is to catch up on reports, do this do that.
hence i always feel that the time in the morning is to strengthen me for the day ahead.
i used to like having that time at night,
but i realized the time in the morning now suits my spiritual soul much better..
His mercies are new every morning.

At night the dew of heaven fell, and manna fell along with it.
i'm now an advocator of morning quiet time. =)

Thank God for today.
i forgot to set alarm for this morning,
as usual as soon as my head hits the pillow, i'll just knock off.
i usually set my phone alarm just before i sleep, when i lie on my bed.
there've been times whereby i just fall asleep immediately and the next morning, the phone is strewn to God-knows-where with no alarm being set.

But yea, thank God for loving me so much that You want me to be part of this prayer chain.
You made Kelly to message me just in time for the prayer thing
You could have made me sleep longer and wake up later
but somehow You nudged me to wake up at 855am, automatically even without any alarm.
that 5mins was for me to brush my teeth, just in time for my 9am prayer slot. so that i wouldn't smell my breath too much when i pray.
You love the church, the people so much that You want to see this chain of prayers going on and on, that You have made all these events work together for Your good.
i feel so blessed that You have called me to be part of this.
thank You Abba!

Family time

Family time with the cg is always good.
i can be sitting there by the pool, not doing anything but i'm loving every moment of it.

and i don't know why, i have this desire to see the girls' soccer matches.
maybe the finals?
ever since some of us were at the airport to send pheobe off,
i don't know manx.
it just rises up in me to want to be part of their whatever journey they are taking,
whether it's singing, dancing, soccer, softball.

something which i caught from Anna.
and i thank God for that. =)

An emotional journey

as i left befrienders on sat, it was too emotional for me.
i guess that combined with my illness together with whatever stress for the past two months or so, i broke down.
I thank God for the relationships that were formed.
and ironically, through this project i felt more attached to the ministry because of the bonds formed..
however i know it's time to move on and really focus on what God wants me to do this season.

and i've realized once again.
whatever love or appreciation or whatnot that is given by man, it can only amount to so much and is limited.
but when i put my eyes to God, i know that such moments are eternal and that only He can reward me richly, my eternal and true source of provision.

so this where my breaking point is, as i've realized.
i've never thought myself to be strong.
and everyday i want to have a deeper walk with You.
to be real before You, to be real before man, my leaders, my cg mates.

Great leaders are great sheep, with Jesus as their true shepherd.
as i ask Him, how to how to?

just follow Jesus.
The rest will follow.

bah

blogger's drought.

Father God, i thank You for the grace to run even after a long day at work.
Every time i get to exercise, i thank You because it's You who gives me the energy to exercise.
You who gives me a disciplined mind to just relax and run with Jesus.

It's been a long time since i last journaled, but i know all i want is to walk deeper with you everyday.

Male fellowship

there's just something about same-gender fellowship.
just feels different.
and i thank God for the soccer today.
without pastor Prince, there wouldn't be NCC
without NCC, there wouldn't be pastor Benjamin
without Pastor Benjamin, there won't be ARROW ministry.
without ARROW ministry, there won't be JC cluster.
without JC cluster, there won't be Coach Gary and Coach Jos
without Coach Gary, there won't be soccer sessions.

Thank you Lord.

Leap Years

As i watched the Leap Years trailer in the cinema just a few days back, i just marvel at Wong Li Lin and how awesome she looks even after being a mother. haha!
well no link eh. I just titled this entry Leap Years as i felt that my entry comes once in a blue moon, and i was reminded by my dear sista-in-Christ to update.
i know blogging is a good medium to share and edify others as well. i've not forgotten that. =)

i'm not really doing this just for plain updating.
but maybe i'm just here to ramble on and on.
anyways, i pray for Daddy God to increase the measure of His wisdom and understanding of the knowledge of Him in me.
because seriously, there are times when i face difficulty in answering some of my brothers. Not by might, nor by logical reasoning or human wisdom, because it's all foolishness to God.
honestly, i really want to be led by the Spirit in facing such situations in future.
and yes this measure of boldness and authority, that i ask of You Daddy, to speak forth the Word in season for anyone that You want to speak to.
actually after two months, i realise there are so many spiritual desires that i have.
might as well list them down in the light.

1. My heart to be filled with Jesus.
When my heart is filled with Him, i do not even need to worry about desires coming to pass or blessings. They JUST COME.

2. Spiritual holiness
Holiness i cannot attain by my own actions, cause my flesh always sins. But i realise there's always a choice before your flesh sins. There's always a choice of "Speak His Word out" against "aiyah, feed the flesh"

In D.L. Moody on Spiritual Leadership,
he said this
"Anything that interrupts our communion with God- that hinders the progress of the spiritual life, and that chills our affection for Christ. Anything that does that, we ought to give up. If we are willing to do so, Christ will more than make it up to us. Many Christians seem to have the desire to live as near the world as they possibly can- to have as much of the world as they can, and have Christ at the same time. My experience has been that such Christians are the most wretched people on the face of the earth. They neither enjoy the world nor Christ. They are what are called border Christians, running a little over the line, mingling with the world today, coming back among Christ's people tomorrow."

in fact for this book, every single word seems to speak to me.
the whole chapter on Holiness speaks to my right to the core. Right to the bone.

i think i can read the book over and over again because it just seems that everything in the book ought to be meditated on. =)

3. To be a prayerful child of God.
To live a life of fervent prayer in every single thing i do.

4. Increase in all measures by His grace.
Wisdom, His power, spiritual authority, understanding, revelation and knowledge of Him and many others that i'll list along the way.

I thank God for this break.
though it's short,
i managed to do the things which i wanted to do.
had a good time over at Coach's place, chilling out watching movies,
chilling out with my family of brothers and sisters in Christ,

fellowship and bonding.
there is a time for fellowship
there is a time to just talk silly.
and yes when talking silly gets out of line, i am very sure that the Holy Spirit will correct us in our heart.
let it flow.

there was this situation today which i did not know how to react.
or rather the boldness to react and mediate the situation between two persons. i didn't do it.
and now that this has happened twice, it's time that i start paying attention to it and learn from it.
and yes boldness to speak and act has to come from the Holy Spirit
i can't increase that in my own flesh, amounts to nothing.

Leap Years is a show for love bugs.
but i say i want to watch it because of Wong Li Lin.
haha!