remnants

remnants...
i'm reborn in Christ..
sometimes i'm jus reminded of this feelin inside..
like when i went back to sch on fri...walked ard in sch..
talked to my bball teacher about the team...
the year1s got the year book..and i took an extra copy from the hocker area...
hocker area tat's called so endearingly..
flipped around the cca pages..
the bball team..looked at myself..still with hair and tat monkey smile..
flipped to netball team and saw her...
everything jus rushed back..
every single feelin u can tink of...every single emotion..
good or bad...guilt or joy....
but life got to move on..
she's alr happy with her relationship..wat more can u ask for..
yepps...18th feb..today's her bdae..
i noe she's havin a great time celebrating with her frens and boyfren..
and i've moved on..away from their circle...moved to my new circle since then..
oh wells....sometimes i do wish feelings can be locked up..or bombed away with a C-4..
but it's okie..
i'm peacing out...

when i went back to sch..i jus cldn't recapture the feelin of me wearin the uniform...
i really don't noe..army life has really accelerated my growth...tat i can't even imagine myself being kiddy and wearin tat uniform anymore..
it's weird isn't it..
i walked along the comp lab on the second floor..past the lib to the science n tech centre on the second floor..the place where we guys playfully blasted a beetle...
i stood there and paused for a moment..
tried to recapture myself walkin up n down those stairs in the beigy uniform..
i cldn't reapture it tat strongly..
maybe because i'm so used to green now..
i don't noe..the new season of army life jus came quickly..as in a new wave jus comes and covers the old wave of vj life..
i don't noe manx..
and then i was thinkin..maybe the gals will feel the feelin more strongly..
aft all they're still leading civilian lives...
so the change isn't tat great..
unlike the guys..from studyin straight to bullshitting cocktalking vlugarities spewing..
this's my personal opinion of course..
army makes u grow up.makes me miss my mum more..my dad..my sis...
yea manx...
not like i'm being brainwashed..
wait till the gals are in my shoes..they will noe..
they will miss the aircon..the clean environment...everything..
jus like we guys do..

jus watched jarhead..it is an atypical show..not much fighting action..which i really expected..
it's about soldiers winnin a war without any fighting..
training up for a war..waiting for days in the desert..and the war's over even before they noe it...
sorta anti climax...but it tickles ur brains...
training for a war tat u never really fight in it..
hmms...

stalemate
i don't really noe wat happened..
a week out at field...a week of civilian life..
some things have changed manx..
i don't noe..

had CG today..
told myself tat i will put God above everything else...
even if it means havin to miss mahjong..
shared with my care group members...
about their amazing real life stories tat happened during the week..
these amazing stories jus hit me hard...how nice it is to experience such wonderful things by jus believing..
while i was listenin to their sharing..a thought jus hit me..
how can my frens who are non believers not experience these good stuff tat we believers are goin thru?
i dont noe.
alot of pple have this mis conception tat Christians have this "goal" of evangelizing..
the more pple the merrier..the more souls saved the better...
for me when i tell pple about Christ...
it's not because of wat personal goals i have to achieve...
it's plainly jus tat i wan my frens to experience the joys of having Christ in ur life...
yes..some of my frens are so happy with their lives...even without believing in anything..
but i believe tat when they start believing..their lives will jus be different..happier than their happy state tat they are in now...

hmms..
i have alot of "i don't noe" in my entries today i realised..
cos alot of things i really don't noe..but i wish to noe...
oh wells....
results..postings..and something else.
wait rest and grow through establishing in His grace.
Amen.
=)