My God is my refuge.II

hmmms...
i forgot to mention an incident..
i was having this demo test, and i din really noe how to set up the non electric circuit. out of divine favour, the warrant instructed me how to do it.
He was really nice and he instructed me how to do it...
i was more than thankful even though i din get full marks for this particular station, given that i've exceeded the time limit.

i am really quite in a rush right now..tryin to spit out all my thoughts right now..
anyways...the recent watch articles have gotten me interested in the whole watch thing again..i had this thing of collecting watches every year as a birthday gift...
and this sentiment was shared by terence cao..when asked when is the best time to collect watches, he replied every year as a birthday gift because each watch signifies a different year.
phoah...
i'm into the watch thing again..but so far i'm reluctant to part with my money for a new watch..cos i would still like to look around...
a tag heur sounds and looks tantalizing, but i'm goin to burn myself short just to indulge in that one watch..
my budget would prob be 500 max..
anyways..read this article featuring watch collectors. this guy said that once u start collecting watches, u can't help but to observe what watches others are wearing.. this mirrored my sentiments as well cos since young, i've been observing the watches people wear..
there is a watch for every occasion and to me a watch signifies style.
wearing a Gshock to a formal party isn't really style, hence, the watch one wears actually shows to a certain extent, the person's character. whether he's sporty rugged classy or simply bochap.

anyways, i jus got a book today by pastor prince titled "the right place at the right time"
Ecclesiastes 9:11-12
11 i returned and saw under the sun that the raceis not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, nor bread to the wise, nor riches to men of understanding, nor favour to men of skill; but time and chance happen to them all"
this line jus hit it for me.
ahm training has started..and i'm not in the team yet..there are a few strong runners all around OCS..and competing to get into the team isn't easy..
hence when everyone is relying on their own human strength to run well,
i shall and will rely on God to put me in the right place and right time to run well.
the day's conditions might be jus perfect for a good run for me...and i trust God for his strength, instead of relying on my limited own strength.

My God is my refuge.

hmms..
it's been a loooong week in camp..
booked in last sat..missed campus..service...and i'm finally out on a fri night..
two incidents worth sharing...
this week has been a week of rest for me...
after live firing...i had time to really sleep..but then again..sleep is never enough..
in fact i'm resting whenever i can..which's good..
anyways..first up...
i almost got punished..for my short but dirty nails..when the pc went around checking for our bearing and turnout..
my boots were also half f*****..not very blackened...
the pc came in front of me..checked my nails..commented on my dirty nails..when my platoon mate beside me caught his attention because my friend's boots were even more f up and he even had camou cream on his face..as such..my pc turned his attention to my friend instead..
and i escaped for my dirty nails and half f boots..

it's really amazing..cos those who got caught for poor turnout..were punished with one week show parade..in other words..every time before meals..they have to report in smart uniform...

this small but significant incident jus showed me how God protects me..
amazing...

next..is the demo test...
i din really study for it..and i din really noe much about it...but somehow..God jus arranged time for me to learn the necessary things needed...
He arranged time for me to come back early after lunch..to learn about the setting up of a mine..in which i won't have the time to if i din come back early after lunch to look after everyone's belongings..

amazing small things that jus point me towards Him...
=)))))

run ball run ball?

hmms...went back to sch..ran a 8k..then played ball..played like kns...totally off with my watsoever skills i had in the past..
seriously speaking..i've no motivation to ball now..don't noe why..my passion died...i noe it can come back..but somehow..it jus ain't coming back now..
i'm jus concentrating on running now..
really wan to get into the AHM..army half marathon team...
i've never been in a xcountry team before..
so maybe this season's for me to concentrate on running..
basketball seems like a distant thing now...really really distant...
u ask me to lace up my running shoes..i'm good to go..u ask me to lace up my court shoes...i'm only halfway there...
haiyoooooooooo....
i jus hope my passion in balling is jus lying dormant...for now...

anyways...
met up with my frens yest..
uni talk..money talk...car talk...studies talk....
in the past i would use to plan for the future...trying to envision myself driving my car and watnot...studyin in uni.....

but...now...i realise it's of no use..
no use thinkin bout such stuff..
there's really a season for everything..
now i'm jus living my officer-to-be life...
so much so that everytime i go for my tri weekly 12 bucks haircut...
i always end up lookin like a US marine Corps...
and i always look at those long haired guys on the streets..and i sigh or curse under my breath..depending on my mood...
but seriously speaking..i jus can't wait for the time when i can really jus leave long hair...
not that long...but slightly shorter than shoulder length...
i really jus can't wait..
meanwhile..i'll jus live with my US marine corps hairdo...
and it helps that my hairdo gets me in the mood for the officer-to-be life....

as they always say..
leave ur civilian life at the guardroom when u book in...and think and act like a commander straight away...
gone are the distractions..the loneliness...the missing that someone and whatnot..

btw..i really hope the sch team this year can exceed what my batch has done..
that is to get into the finals....
i'll really be overwhelmed with joy...
after all...every batch should try to do better than the prev one..otherwise there won't be any progress...
let's jus see the results on monday..

hmmmmmmmsss....

wah laos..
today in town...i walked past the underpass to borders..
i heard "nothing at all" and "love me"..
jus when my mind's thinking of her...sighs..
u noe the her refers to sheena..

i don't noe sia..
flashbacks jus come out like that..
i was opp far east...then started to think of the bus ride...

wah siao...bu xing....


i came back from camp yesterday..
then saw the passion of christ dvd cover on the table..
the first thing that i saw when i stepped into the house..
maybe it tells me smth..
then jus now when i reached home..i sat down..took off my shoes..and held the dvd cover in my hand..
i think i should watch it again..
there i go..
laters!~

my weekends

my weekends....
it's been 7 weeks since i've entered OCS..what have i been doin during the weekends that i've got?
catchin up with frens..a movie...a club trip here and there....
having meals with my dad and mom...
care groups....campus....services...
i thank God for these simple things that i get to enjoy when i bookout..
there's beauty in simplicity...

unfortunately i can't attend campus and -combined- service at the indoor stadium next week..
but i'm lookin forward to my book out..having a meal with my mom...mather's day is coming soon..

today i could have injured myself...but thank God i din...
went for a long run..as usual ran to senett estate..took a look at my pri sch..took a look at cedar gals secondary....
my pri sch building was knocked down..in place was a spanking new building with cedar primary still on it..
gone were the old washed out blue buildings..
newaes after my run i went to this fitness station that had a SBJ marking on it..
as i prepared to jump..my slippery new shoes gave way and i slipped...
okie..picture this...
jus as i was about to leap off..i slipped...so my back was in a super duper arched position
imagine when u swing ur arms forward..ur legs slip..so ur back will be arched..
i landed on the side of my right knee..thank God i had no abrasions..jus a silly bump on my right butt...
i could really feel my back arch manx..and i was pretty worried...
but nothing broken..nothing fixed...
was so thankful for my sound and whole body...
as u can see..i think our backs and knees are very important..
cos in army..u need ur knees to move u around...u need ur back to carry heavy loads..something that we do everytime...
so a strong back and strong knees will take u far...

thank God for my healthy state.

attended my first CG under anna yesterday,,.
i had some reservations about being under a new cg leader..
but yest's cg showed to me that it's possible to draw strength from anyone in ur life..no matter what age...what character...
there's always something that i can draw from in everyone...
so yep..
i clearly enjoyed cg yest...

pitter patter pitter patter..

i woke up to the sound of rain splashing.....
right now when i'm typing...the splashing's reduced to a mellow sound of light rain...with the occasional thunder booming in the distance...
sometimes i slip into that "i miss her" mode...
dooooooon't noe sia...shldn't have talked to sheena online last night..
started the river of reminiscing...

BUT...somehow i always cut it off halfway..
no point thinking back..cos i'm such a different person since a long time ago..
even when i scroll down my gallery in my mobile...i look at myself and tell myself that tat dude is dead...
yes it might look the same as me...
but seriously...i think my past photos look different from how i look like now...
it's jus different now..
i'm in Christ now..i wasn't back then..i was in so called principles..

this happens occasionally...
in army...u tend to get a lil lonely....
but i realise it's jus one of the ways the loser's tryin to push my buttons..
and i shan't let him do that...
Praise God.

oh ya....
on mon night...
the loser tried to come again...
she msged "which uni are u goin to?likeng refuses to tell me"
i replied "smu..where all the prettty girls are"
then came her reply,"yayy..then u can go cheat the young girls :)"

i tell u..when i read this...straight away something shot right up in me...
however i kept reminding myself of the righteousness that i have...
i really don't noe if it's pure stupidity in her remarks..or i really don't noe what the hell she's tryin to push..
i think that's the stupidest reply u can ever give me...
i wanted so much to tell my frens in camp about this incident..
but i din cos i don't want to be bothered by these comments...
kept confessing by my lips...and everything went away..
anyways..now i understood why likeng suddenly msged me on mon night askin which uni i'm going to...
when i received his msg..i thought he's tryin to keep in touch..that's why he's askin me..
but when her msg came..i realised why likeng msged me for..

anyways...
to continue...
i din reply after that..i wanted to reply and rebuke her stupid remarks...took the phone in my hand..and wanted to type something..then something stop me..
quick to listen.. slow to speak..slow to anger..
and i put down my phone immediately...
few minutes later..she msged "anyways..u wan to meet up soon?i'm tired of goin out with likeng everytime..don't worry.there's nothing..my cutie wotie is waiting for me in uni"
when i read this..i can't help but to think of the stupidity in her remarks again...
seriously u're just desperate u noe...
i tink from last time till now...the desperacy in u is still there..it's so in u
and my impression still stays the same...u're still so desperate for affection.
OUT OF COURTESY..i replied "err..thanks but no thanks.yep"
then her last reply came, "okie.no biggy..ta"
disclaimer: the content in these msges are as true as they were..no attempt has been made to change the content to try to exaggerate anything. the sheer stupidity of the remarks jus made me remember them so clearly.

i thank God that she din disturb me after that....

i thank God for Jesus..cos in Christ i'm able to refute such stupidity in remarks that try to bring me down..
no way i tell u..
in Jesus's name, Amen.
=)

your disappointments are God's appointments.

even though there was labour day this week...
this week has been a very long one..
maybe it's because of the torturous SOC runs....
seriously...u give me 10 ippts..i will do it in exchange for one SOC...
let me tell u my story..
on wed i'm supposed to take my SOC test...
once again..i cldn't do my low rope..technique wasn't there...
i was already gearing to go..to set a good timing..
but in the end..i cldn't clear my low rope...
the disappointment was right there...everywhere...that i din bother to run the last stretch of soc on that day...
same exact thing that happened during my bmt test..
out of favour i got to retake my test during bmt..and clocked a good timing..
anyways...
on tues..at the end of everything..i was really down...super duper down with disappointment...
my face was a face of agony and pain..of extreme fatigue...
i tink everyone saw my really fatigued face...
i sat there..while my frens poured water over my head..
i was thinking..why why why again the same thing had to happen..
then i told myself..no condemnation..my disappointment may be God's appointment...
when wc asked me why i din clear SOC..i jus told him straight, "no excuse..can;t clear means can't clear" the same exact answer that i told the conducting...
after the exercise that day..i went back to my bunk..showered...
then i went to find my pc and asked for a special request to take the fri soc as the real test..
he gave me the chance...after i convinced him that i would not blunder again...
out of favour..i had the chance today...
and i relished it....
i thank God for the good timing clocked today..
thank Him for the low rope...

of course Man will never be satisfied...
i felt that i could have pushed myself faster durin the last stretch..
really...
even though when i ran..i could feel fire coming out of my throat..
it's really like the first time i'm feeling it..
my throat heats up..like i'm breathing smoke out..like a dragon...
when i crossed the line...i was dizzy..my legs were wobbly...my vision was blurry...i had to hold on to something for support....
thank God for wai keong for helping me out at the finishing line..
i was opening my mouth as wide as i could...
squinted my eyes...tried to walk ard...
until i sat down awhile..before tryin to stand up and walk ard...
everything was on fire..my legs were burning with acid...
my mates told me on tues that they have never seen me so shagged before..they said my legs looked like they were goin to give way..
today my mates told me the same thing..minus the legs part...
i think in jus this week alone...
everyone could see how shagged i can be....
i don't noe sia...pple run finish their SOC..they look fresh after their run..
i don't noe why for me..after my SOC...i looked like i've fought 100 wars at one shot...

anyhows..
i need to improve..
definitely...
i think circuit training will help to a certain extent...
run...do pushups..run..pullups..run situps...
run..go pull rope...
come to think of it..it's been a long time since i've done circuit training...

btw..
after soc today..i was queuing up for dinner..
my bmt coy mate..the guy who lost by 1 point to get coy best...
he asked me what's my soc timing..
i asked him what's his..
he told me that his timing's 7:49
i just kept quiet...cos at that i din noe my soc timing...
then he said," yours sure very fast one la...6 7 plus min right"
i replied "siaos"
then he walked away...
seriously fuckit
i really don't like competing against others..
yes others might motivate u to push harder...
but yea that competitive nature jus sucks...
so what if it's 7:49
like i give a damn about it..
u can go aim for ur best pt or wahtever..that's ur goal...
i really don't care...

why am i affected by this?
cos..when pple ask u something..
let's say ask u for ur soc timing..
their tone will tell u immediately whether they have a good timing or not..
so u start by askin pple "what's ur timing"
so that u can initiate this topic..and tell pple about ur timing that u're proud of
by all means...
err..i think u get my point larh..
those studyin pple out there..
when pple ask for ur grades..it's more often than not they have done well that's why they have the courage to ask others..
usually those who din do well..they would sit somewhere and won't ask...

even on tues..i asked many pple for their timing..even though i din even have a timing myself..

sighs..