your disappointments are God's appointments.

even though there was labour day this week...
this week has been a very long one..
maybe it's because of the torturous SOC runs....
seriously...u give me 10 ippts..i will do it in exchange for one SOC...
let me tell u my story..
on wed i'm supposed to take my SOC test...
once again..i cldn't do my low rope..technique wasn't there...
i was already gearing to go..to set a good timing..
but in the end..i cldn't clear my low rope...
the disappointment was right there...everywhere...that i din bother to run the last stretch of soc on that day...
same exact thing that happened during my bmt test..
out of favour i got to retake my test during bmt..and clocked a good timing..
anyways...
on tues..at the end of everything..i was really down...super duper down with disappointment...
my face was a face of agony and pain..of extreme fatigue...
i tink everyone saw my really fatigued face...
i sat there..while my frens poured water over my head..
i was thinking..why why why again the same thing had to happen..
then i told myself..no condemnation..my disappointment may be God's appointment...
when wc asked me why i din clear SOC..i jus told him straight, "no excuse..can;t clear means can't clear" the same exact answer that i told the conducting...
after the exercise that day..i went back to my bunk..showered...
then i went to find my pc and asked for a special request to take the fri soc as the real test..
he gave me the chance...after i convinced him that i would not blunder again...
out of favour..i had the chance today...
and i relished it....
i thank God for the good timing clocked today..
thank Him for the low rope...

of course Man will never be satisfied...
i felt that i could have pushed myself faster durin the last stretch..
really...
even though when i ran..i could feel fire coming out of my throat..
it's really like the first time i'm feeling it..
my throat heats up..like i'm breathing smoke out..like a dragon...
when i crossed the line...i was dizzy..my legs were wobbly...my vision was blurry...i had to hold on to something for support....
thank God for wai keong for helping me out at the finishing line..
i was opening my mouth as wide as i could...
squinted my eyes...tried to walk ard...
until i sat down awhile..before tryin to stand up and walk ard...
everything was on fire..my legs were burning with acid...
my mates told me on tues that they have never seen me so shagged before..they said my legs looked like they were goin to give way..
today my mates told me the same thing..minus the legs part...
i think in jus this week alone...
everyone could see how shagged i can be....
i don't noe sia...pple run finish their SOC..they look fresh after their run..
i don't noe why for me..after my SOC...i looked like i've fought 100 wars at one shot...

anyhows..
i need to improve..
definitely...
i think circuit training will help to a certain extent...
run...do pushups..run..pullups..run situps...
run..go pull rope...
come to think of it..it's been a long time since i've done circuit training...

btw..
after soc today..i was queuing up for dinner..
my bmt coy mate..the guy who lost by 1 point to get coy best...
he asked me what's my soc timing..
i asked him what's his..
he told me that his timing's 7:49
i just kept quiet...cos at that i din noe my soc timing...
then he said," yours sure very fast one la...6 7 plus min right"
i replied "siaos"
then he walked away...
seriously fuckit
i really don't like competing against others..
yes others might motivate u to push harder...
but yea that competitive nature jus sucks...
so what if it's 7:49
like i give a damn about it..
u can go aim for ur best pt or wahtever..that's ur goal...
i really don't care...

why am i affected by this?
cos..when pple ask u something..
let's say ask u for ur soc timing..
their tone will tell u immediately whether they have a good timing or not..
so u start by askin pple "what's ur timing"
so that u can initiate this topic..and tell pple about ur timing that u're proud of
by all means...
err..i think u get my point larh..
those studyin pple out there..
when pple ask for ur grades..it's more often than not they have done well that's why they have the courage to ask others..
usually those who din do well..they would sit somewhere and won't ask...

even on tues..i asked many pple for their timing..even though i din even have a timing myself..

sighs..