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hmms..there's basically just 1 month and a half left before i go back to SAFTI..
the upcoming weeks...assessments after assessments..
the pressure to perform is always there..human performance..
watever..

i just popped my shoulder two weeks ago..
i went for service two weeks ago..
pastor prayed and announced healing over someone who had an injured right shoulder..
true enough i regained my mobility in my shoulder almost completely there and then..
praise God for that...

right now my shoulder still feels funny..the pain has shifted from my rear to my front shoulder now..
SOC is kinda tough..maybe cos my right shoulder's kinda weak..
and i just got blisters...
great news isn't it..given that SOC test is coming up soon..
every day i see my mates doing pullups..
i can't do them right now cos of my injury and blister...

things seem to be goin down..
is that really so???

'there's Glory in tribulations because tribulations produce perseverance; perseverance,character and character;hope.
hope does not disappoint us because the love of God has been poured into us through the Holy Spirit who dwells in us'

lookin back..ST term had its downs too..but pro term had more rocky moments..my CWC term..and now my injury..
however i know that all things work together for good for those who believe in the Lord...
sometimes..seriously not doing anything..or rather being in a position that we can't do anything using our own human strength, we will realise that it's indeed God's strength and grace that pulls us through..
and i pray for that especially for my upcoming weeks..soc tests..exercises..
it might be true that people in the study group might be goin through rough times..
but i believe it's this season that we learn to see God's glory shine through in our tribulations when we learn how to rely totally on Him..
instead of thinking 'i should do this and that in order to do well'

i'm guilty of the above sometimes..who isn't rite..
but yes..unlike Jimmy whose PC told him that he's pushing Jimmy for a sword..
my PC didn't tell me but he told some of my platoon mates...
since the start of my pro term..
i've been questioning my motivation to get the sword or anything..
sometimes my motivation reaches sky high levels while sometimes it just falls roti prata flat..
sometimes i feel like being a staff officer instead of a PC.because of the opportunity cost of time..
sometimes i feel like being a PC because i feel like influencing men under me..
watever it is..i pray that God places me in a position..doesn't matter the status of it..so long as that position allows me to influence people through Christ..i know that it's His purpose..
sometimes i think about it..why do pple go for the highest honour?
for their own personal glory and satisfaction?to show people that Christ in us will reign in everything?
coach andy said that the true purpose in wantting the highest honour is very important..
are we aiming something for our own achievement?
or are we aiming for something that aligns us with God's purpose?
sometimes u realise that hey u're placed in positions that allow us to influence people..and that getting an award is possible..
but if we focus on the award and trust God that we will acheive that award..it's correct since we are still trusting Him to bring us through..
if we do not focus on the award and just trust God to lead us in anything we do..without thinking much about it..in the end if we get the award..wouldn't it be total grace then?

shucks..mind boggling..

anyways..shouldn't think too much..
just let the Spirit of wisdom guide us in everything we do..
Amen.

ramblings..

hmms...
feels a lil disconnected from gals my age..
ahhaha..so different now..
uni lives and army lives..
however...i believe there are still many things that guys and gals our age can talk about eh..
met up with my classmates yesterday night..haven't seen them for ages..
they look essentially the same..hahaha
oh wells..
while u hear about how others are doing in uni..u would like to experience it too..but there's still a year to go before starting tertiary education again..
and leading a civilian life again..

maybe i shldn't look towards the future..
just live it day by day..
His grace is more than enough to get me through..

rejoice in this season...

anyways was reading this article in my church publication..
about marriages..
we should not place expectations on our partners..
ultimately man isn't perfect..but God is..
so look towards Him for everything..
the purpose of relationships in God's words..is actually to point both the male and female towards Him..
for example when the female forgives the male for doing something wrong.the male filled with wisdom would be reminded of God's love as well..
God provides us with everything..
at the same time He also places a need in us to have companionship...
that's why friendships are from God as well..
friendships are enough at this moment..
it's more nourishing to the soul than having a partner at this age..
since God and friendships can provide us with companionship..why do we need a partner?
boggles me actually...
i don't mind if i stay single in future..
u can be in a crowd but feel lonely..likewise u can be alone but don't feel lonely
wat's wrong with being single?nothing wrong ma..i can even live my bachelor's dream..havin my own studio apartment..
hahaha..okie i'm digressing..
but yea..right now..or maybe even later..i don't see any need for a partner..
i've God..tat's enough..

anna my care group leader asked if i see myself serving the church in future..
i told her yes..
and right now..i'm just patiently growing in my walk with Jesus..
when it's time..it will be....i'm still growing..

the seasons...

i thank God for this weekend..
managed to rush down for the last part of campus..had dinner with my cg..went for supper with my friends..nice to see seng again...church in the morning in which i missed the praise n worship cos i overslept..dinner with my dad..catching up with my classmate who's leaving this week..
yep..ahead of me will be weeks of intensive exercises in camp...

just this week..meeting up with people really gave me an insight into many things..
army can ruin or strengthen your walk with God..
NDU is such a bad influence..i'm not surprised that the environment can actually lead to dog smoking..
but i'm more appalled when i heard that he's interested in clubbing..for the wrong reasons..or rather for the reasons many many guys go clbbin for..
i would always be the one who asks him to go clubbing..and he will reply saying clubs sucks cos the smoke and the loud music..
wells..apparently the temptation of gals has overcome the loud music and smoke..for him at least..
yep..in such a short while..or rather 1month..
so many changes have taken place..
caught up with jiayun yest late at night..
it's only when i asked..then i know so many things have happened..
people fall in love..people get out of relationships...
u fancy someone here and there..
u break off with someone..
tings like that..
it's just amazing to hear these stories..
different people undergo different seasons in their lives..
for me i just noe that this season might be one of acceleration..
whether it's in the area of growth..or whatever..
seeing people undergo changes..
i've asked myself..are there any changes in me?
not so much of outward changes but looking inwards into my heart is more important than anything else...
i've Christ in me and God with me...
that's the basis of everything...

anyways i talked to coach andy for a while on sat night..
his conversation is purely filled with Christ..
and i look at him wondering how it is like to totally devote your life to God and talking about the gospel..
is he like that only in the church environment? or is he like that everywhere...
it comes to a point when the relationship with God is your life and even more...

i told him,"sometimes i find it hard to share the gospel because people are resistant to it."
he replied,"do not rely on your own effort to share the gospel around..the most important thing is to love people sincerely..because to love is God and God is love..when they sense the love coming from you..ultimately they will see Christ in you and wat love is all about"