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hmms..there's basically just 1 month and a half left before i go back to SAFTI..
the upcoming weeks...assessments after assessments..
the pressure to perform is always there..human performance..
watever..

i just popped my shoulder two weeks ago..
i went for service two weeks ago..
pastor prayed and announced healing over someone who had an injured right shoulder..
true enough i regained my mobility in my shoulder almost completely there and then..
praise God for that...

right now my shoulder still feels funny..the pain has shifted from my rear to my front shoulder now..
SOC is kinda tough..maybe cos my right shoulder's kinda weak..
and i just got blisters...
great news isn't it..given that SOC test is coming up soon..
every day i see my mates doing pullups..
i can't do them right now cos of my injury and blister...

things seem to be goin down..
is that really so???

'there's Glory in tribulations because tribulations produce perseverance; perseverance,character and character;hope.
hope does not disappoint us because the love of God has been poured into us through the Holy Spirit who dwells in us'

lookin back..ST term had its downs too..but pro term had more rocky moments..my CWC term..and now my injury..
however i know that all things work together for good for those who believe in the Lord...
sometimes..seriously not doing anything..or rather being in a position that we can't do anything using our own human strength, we will realise that it's indeed God's strength and grace that pulls us through..
and i pray for that especially for my upcoming weeks..soc tests..exercises..
it might be true that people in the study group might be goin through rough times..
but i believe it's this season that we learn to see God's glory shine through in our tribulations when we learn how to rely totally on Him..
instead of thinking 'i should do this and that in order to do well'

i'm guilty of the above sometimes..who isn't rite..
but yes..unlike Jimmy whose PC told him that he's pushing Jimmy for a sword..
my PC didn't tell me but he told some of my platoon mates...
since the start of my pro term..
i've been questioning my motivation to get the sword or anything..
sometimes my motivation reaches sky high levels while sometimes it just falls roti prata flat..
sometimes i feel like being a staff officer instead of a PC.because of the opportunity cost of time..
sometimes i feel like being a PC because i feel like influencing men under me..
watever it is..i pray that God places me in a position..doesn't matter the status of it..so long as that position allows me to influence people through Christ..i know that it's His purpose..
sometimes i think about it..why do pple go for the highest honour?
for their own personal glory and satisfaction?to show people that Christ in us will reign in everything?
coach andy said that the true purpose in wantting the highest honour is very important..
are we aiming something for our own achievement?
or are we aiming for something that aligns us with God's purpose?
sometimes u realise that hey u're placed in positions that allow us to influence people..and that getting an award is possible..
but if we focus on the award and trust God that we will acheive that award..it's correct since we are still trusting Him to bring us through..
if we do not focus on the award and just trust God to lead us in anything we do..without thinking much about it..in the end if we get the award..wouldn't it be total grace then?

shucks..mind boggling..

anyways..shouldn't think too much..
just let the Spirit of wisdom guide us in everything we do..
Amen.