i can't sleep

i can''t fall asleep..
perhaps it's too early..915pm..
yea..tryin to rest before i set off for airport later..
anyways..
thank God for pulling me through my 7km macritchie xcountry run today..
came in 1st through His strength...
hopefully i can run for safsa next year.
=)

here it comes

i praise you i praise you
with all i am i praise you
i'm so grateful you came for me
hallelujah hallelujah
you gave everything to save me
so grateful for all u've done

glory glory glory to the Lamb
glory glory glory to the Lamb
for you're Glorious
and worthy to be praised
you're the Lamb upon the throne
and unto You
we lift our voice in praise
You're the Lamb upon the throne

Ex Crescendo here i come~
For His glory

all i need is You

only 2 bookouts but it seemed like it was a long time ago since i last sat down to listen to coach andy sharing...
yes..my friends ard me have been sayin 'you're a potential sword'
stuff like that...
the thing is i haven't heard it from my instructors...
and more importantly..i want to listen to God..
the upcoming trip to thailand..it's the final burst..
the final lap..the deciding lap..the defining moment..
cos the trip will be the last time the assessments are being done..
we return to singapore..1 week and the course will end..
to be the best which God has placed me at..

this coming fri..the day when i'll be leaving for thailand..
i've a 7km formation run at macritchie..
it's an important run cos it's where the good runners are being selected to run for safsa..or for their formations...
it's something that appeals to me..
something tat was forgone when i went to combat e and had to leave the marathon team back in infantry..
i knew it was temporary..cos what He has given to me as a gift..it will prosper even more when the time is right for His glory to shine through..
so yep..lookin forward to this fri...

sunday's service was great..something that stuck in my head as a revelation was
'arise, and the let the glory of God shine upon you'
so amazing as i wake up everyday confessing this..

anyways..hari raya was spent running in the mornin, having lunch with my mum n aunt at thai express..shopping and finally resting.
sounds good eh..
it was crowded today..and i was observin people..
again the beauty and the beast syndrome struck me..as i saw couples walk past.
maybe my standards of beauty has dropped..or maybe it's just plain beastly..


as i woke up from my nap just now..
darkness enveloped the room as evening came..
just felt a lil sian..
yes..this sian word hasn't surfaced for a long long time since i've accepted Christ..
but yes just tat lil bit..
i quickly confessed..
and just sang songs over and over again...
i'm loved..by Jesus.
and it's gonna be alright.
=)

worthy is the lamb

the past few days have set me thinkin..or rather wondering...
just had an exercise..
was an exercise pc for deployment..
while moving out..my rover broke down..yes my rover broke down..
hence i had to join my mates on the tonner..
and worse still i thought i lost my notebook which had the route..later to find out that it was with my friend..
this caused me to lose my way before my pc comms the exercise oc on the route..
btw it was fri the 13th..
but i'm not into superstition..
there must be a reason why such things happened..
i don't really know..neither can i fathom..
but i believe one day the answer iwll jus hit me..
anyways everything seemed to be goin on pretty fine.until i broke camp..
then yhea..the shit started..
tat's when i realise His love is the greatest..
far more greater than any man can give..
yes favour's impt.. but i rather i focus on God and Hia abundant provision of grace..rather than seeking favour from superiors whom i don't really respect..
this just got into me for the whole exercise..
sometimes i ask why there's such an instructor for me for this course..
then i realise that God's tryin to teach me submission..
yes as much as i want to submit..respect has to be there first doesn't it..
army's really quite a screwed up place..
some superiors genuinely care about ur learning..
some superiors teach the hard way..
some superiors..no matter wat they say..u've lost tat basic respect for them tat u jus can't seem but to treat their words like a pinch of salt..

just one exercise..it has taught me alot in managing men under me..
somehow i just feel..that the calling is getting stronger..
a pc..
to be sincere in caring for ur men..
to be sincere in everything we do is very impt..
there are people whom only wayang when certain pple are around..when they aren't ard..these people just completely switch off..fuckin retarded..
if u want to do something..do it with a sincere heart..
yes pple might say waying is a street smart style..
but always having to wayang will jus give ur true self away..

i say again i rather rely on my God for His favour and grace..

anyways..once again i'm kinda sad whenever i think about the friend i lost since the start of my enginnering course..
he's changed so much..or rather my impression of him changed..
in ocs he won' complain about stuff..but now he just adds his comments into every single shit..
seriously speaking..it's such a classic example of pple drifting apart..
sometimes i really just feel like punchin him..
more like 'i want to punch u hard..not because i hate u..but out of my frustration over the change in u'
to each his own..
i shall stop dwelling into this...

anyways..it's so easy how having a distraction can drive u away from ur focus..can change ur character..can change everything....

anyways..
i'm thankful i've God.

to run.

running those two rounds ard my neighbourhood felt good..
even in the midday sun and the haze levels that seemed to pick up..
i never felt so rejuvenated before after the run..
all i had was probably 72 hours..
yet the amount of things i could do in this time seemed endless..
or rather..there was always a time set aside for me to do something..without me thinking or planning too much into it..
thank God for that..

give thanks

thank God for the victorious SOC
thank God for the care group
thank God for gathering my friends once again
thank God for service and the mini study session
thank God that benjamin has found you once again..

i cleared my SOC..with an exceeding good timing..
one which i thought about but i did not really aim for cos all i wanted to do was to clear my obstacles and run it all...
i was a lil jittery about it for the days before last fri..
but when everything was cleared..i'm so thankful for His grace..
tat despite my shoulder tat hasn't really fully recovered..i'm able to clear the monkey bars without feeling any pain..something which i feel all the time durin my soc trainings..
hallelujah..

my care group has provided me a shelter..
under the leadership of a woman of God..
i jus look forward to every session to hear stories and to share stories...

once again thanks marc for organizing the mooncake thing..
i felt a lil bad for leaving after a short while...
but nonetheless i enjoyed the presence of u peeps..
it's great to see each other after so long..despite the short time..

before service i had a mini study session with my cg members..
they studied A level stuff..while i studied army stuff..
anyways..
i jus realised my IC number is a special one..
it contains 5 '8's
8 stands for a new beginning and 5 means grace..in biblical terms...
how apt it is as grace has led me to a new beginning..

during service..my teammate Benjamin went up and received Christ..
he used to attend his parents' church but he told me that he didn't feel anything inside..
and thank God he found new creation..where in just that one session..God reached him..
when i saw him go up to the front..i was filled with joy...
pure joy seeing more of my frens getting saved..
including javin as well recently..
and the cg's expanding..not expanding but more and more people are starting to appear..
something to be thankful about..

the upcoming weeks will be tat of tests..exercises and summex..
sometimes i do worry if i will be able to perform..
but i jus fix my eyes on Him..
and i know that in these few weeks..He will see me through..Amen.

a revelation for the situation

i see grace
sealed by Your sacrifice
i see love
reaches for me
precious blood
washes and sanctifies
healing flows
setting me free
i see grace

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me
ALL things

had a wonderful praise and worship session yesterday..
thanks to be with God for the revelation above...
my shoulder ain't strong at this moment..
and i've soc to clear..
i'll be relying on His strength all the way to clear it...

yes..1 month and a half to go..
i jus got news that keng ooc-ed on friday night..
shocking i should say..
i know that He will see me through to dec 10
where my bros and I will be standing on the parade square..
completing the 9mth journey that He has placed us in..
and the beginning of more things to come.
Jesus is the Alpha and Omega of my faith...

sometimes u just feel attracted to someone..
but u realise that the attraction should stop jus there..
cos there's no need to develop anything at all.

seriously right now..i don't see the need for female affection other than from my mum..
cos i've Jesus in me.
=)