oh i forgot..

it's 0239hrs...
i'm supposed to be tired ain't i..
the night's still young..
oh wells..

and he was peeing in the...

hmms..at the suntec toilet today..
jus when i went into the gents..there was a small boy using the adult urinal at the corner..so naturally.jus as wat most guys would do.i conveniently went to the urinal at the other corner..there were only 3 urinals..
he was at the extreme left. i went to the extreme right.
but wait a minute.the extreme right was a baby urinal.the boy should have been there instead..
jus when i was about to do the deed..i found it so amusing i chuckled to myself..
there he was.smaller than me.literally.not figuratively..hahah
using the adult urinal..
and i stood there pondering for a split second..no it doesn't look right..better shift to the middle urinal..an adult one..hahah looks more right..
oh wells..lil things tat amuse me..
'aights
if u can't picture it..jus try to imagine two males..one a young boy at an adult urinal..
one a young man at a baby urinal...

it's awesome how the Spirit jus leads us to have praise n worship tog..nothing prepared..but He's in our midst nonetheless..
thank God for Your amazing gift in her..

sometimes i wish i had tat gift..
but it's okie..
we all have our God given gifts and talents..
we might not see it..but others might see it..tat's the beauty of Jesus in us.Amen.

anyways..caught up with both of my frens today..
hmms..both came to me with disastrous stories of love gone awry..
parents' objections. a gal leaving him for a younger guy..

everyone needs God's love.
i shared with her a lil about God..and i'm thankful tat He in me managed to calm her down..

hips don't lie

tat music jus keeps ringin in my head..

by His stripes i am healed.

there's a chopsticks for dummies..apparently it helps them to pick food up easily..
not tat i can't pick things up with my one-of-a-kind chopsticks holding style..
but if anyone's interested in getting tat for me.it can be found at parkway i think..
ahha..jus talkin rubbish..
the rain's keepin me in..or rather makin me feel like stayin at hm..though i really don't want to..
really want to go out and do -something-
just -something-
don't noe wat thing but just -something-

i think i've put up my wishlist too late..
i want a
amplified bible
new fossil leather wallet ( gone will be my brown topman wallet.memories they shall only be)
a hooded sweat shirt

mwhahaa..this's so lame.
i'm writing out things tat i noe i'll get them soon with my own money..
so yepp..

bored.

i thank God for

hmms..
supposed to go zouk tonight..
then jun wei called to say that they are out of cash..
when i heard tat..i was so happy..as in i thank God for tat..
since Christmas eve..some things are on my mind..
about clubbin and stuff..
oh wells..i won't be doing tat kinda thing tat often

and i'm leavin it to Him to guide me in this area...

since HM6 camp..i'm so happy to say tat i've kicked some unhealthy things away from my life..

so funny..i read menshealth today at citylink mph..
the last page was an article about a few new year resolutions a man should make..
one of them was
"stop surfing porn. nothing beats doing it with a sweet smelling real woman, than watching a jap schoolgirl.go out and get some"
something along these lines..
but when i read it i chuckled..
how true can tat be eh...
so yep..to the guys who are reading my blog...there u go..

mwhahaha..
this entry's kinda explicit..but it's okie..this's not sunday school..
as wat pastor said...
if u're shy to talk about such stuff...hmms...
oh wells..

God.despite my busy schedule next year.in which i don't noe how busy i would be
jus avail me for bs services campus cg mission trip camp in Jesus's name i pray Amen.

i thank God for

hmms..
supposed to go zouk tonight..
then jun wei called to say that they are out of cash..
when i heard tat..i was so happy..as in i thank God for tat..
since Christmas eve..some things are on my mind..
about clubbin and stuff..
oh wells..i won't be doing tat kinda thing tat often

and i'm leavin it to Him to guide me in this area...

since HM6 camp..i'm so happy to say tat i've kicked some unhealthy things away from my life..

so funny..i read menshealth today at citylink mph..
the last page was an article about a few new year resolutions a man should make..
one of them was
"stop surfing porn. nothing beats doing it with a sweet smelling real woman, than watching a jap schoolgirl.go out and get some"
something along these lines..
but when i read it i chuckled..
how true can tat be eh...
so yep..to the guys who are reading my blog...there u go..

mwhahaha..
this entry's kinda explicit..but it's okie..this's not sunday school..
as wat pastor said...
if u're shy to talk about such stuff...hmms...
oh wells..

God.despite my busy schedule next year.in which i don't noe how busy i would be
jus avail me for bs services campus cg mission trip camp in Jesus's name i pray Amen.

when u're bored..u just blog.

arghs..yes..the rain.driving me nuts.i've been putting off my run for days..
my body's screaming at me to just hide under my blanket for a comfy cosy snooze for the night..
but i think it's a waste to sleep so much..
24 hours are there for u to fully utilize..
although i noe rest is indeed something important..
can't run..so i gymed..
i noe the rain will stop by tmr morning..
just nice for my long run..
tried to learn some dance for justin timberlake videos..
but nothing beats learning from an instructor..
oh wells..

time now is 0024 hrs.

if u need a delusional kid.come and meet my friend.

hmms..
it's been a whirlwind period of time..
commissioned..report to new unit..HM6 =) 23rd sat..Christmas eve.Christmas.and the upcoming NYE..

hm6 was totally awesome..
nothing beats the praise and worship sessions..the preaching sessions..the games.albeit a short one.
the late nights..the whole night being awake..
i don't noe..
kelly just put it the right way..
i thank God for
a peaceful trip up north
friendly roommates..
a bunch of crazy JC kids who make me lame all over again.then again i'm still a kid.a child of God
the praise and worship sessions..
the preaching sessions..
the sharing..
the short games...
the short shopping trip
the thrill of dressing up.painting nails and drawing eyeliner..
the secret praise n worship session..
the safe trip back home despite the floods ravagin in malaysia
the one of a kind dinner at the void deck
the fun gathering i had on sat with the cg

i'm a last min kinda person..
though i knew a few weeks ago that i was supposed to help joey in games..
i told Him "huh games? i'm bad at that..i may be a lil too old to think of fun games..i'm not even a games person"
i tried to think..but i din really involve Him in it..
till we came back on thurs..and sat was the gathering..
i had to come up with something fast..
i can't possibly go to joey's house on sat and drop them a bombshell sayin tat ezer and i did not prepare anything for games..such a disappointment eh..
so when i booked in on thurs night..
i had to take awile to adjust back to my camp frens..
cos after spending so much time with the cg in God's presence..
the feeling's just weird..
that night..i jus prayed..and told Him..i'm so not good at games..but this's when You come in and make the games fun interesting and engaging...
He jus led me in developing a few games...linked together..pieced together by developing a few ideas i got from my cg members..
i drew from a game i played in a happy hour..
piece them together..scribbled mind map down..the things i need..
and voila..
sat beckoned..
i knew it's going to be Him all the way..so i jus prayed in tongues the whole day..
hahah...

i always had bernice in my mind..she was in charge of games for hm6..but she wasn't really a games person..but in the end it turned out well because she left it to Him..
so yes..i was in a similar position..not a games person..but have to do the games..

i felt the fun of it all even when i wasn't involved in the games..
and it was really heartening to hear that everyone enjoyed the games...
thank God for that..

He told me that i should interact with the care group in a way that i'm not familiar with.to step out of the familiar zone and interact with the group in a different way..
His words were spoken to me through Anna..
and i believe that doing the games was indeed a different way..

yes..and i believe the seeds sown during HM6..
they will harvest in His time..

yesh.clubbing..
a -touchy- topic isn't it.

i had a dream..

hahaha..
the year is coming to an end..
really soon..
and 2006 will be *poof*
december..is more than a month of reflections to me..
i think dec 2006 will always be very special in my heart..
it's the month when i embark on my officership..
it's the month when i get to attend my first church camp.thank God for that..
it's the month that marks the end of a great year..
a year of acceleration..of growth...i just feel the joy that throughout this year..my walk with Jesus just grew closer..
by the riches of His grace and His gift of righteousness will we reign in life through the one man Jesus Christ.
notice it's a gift..
u needn't work for it..
u needn't do anything but to jus rely on Him to carry u through..
in bmt..i din even chiong..i just went for an interview..and boom~ an award was given to me..
before the A level results come out..i just had this peace..no expectations..cos i noe whatever that comes to me is from above..
i got 2As 2Bs..i can't even believe it when the best grades i got in college was DDEE..
come to service term..i certainly wasn't the fittest around..but His strength gave me an award..
come to the university interview..people told me to prepare for it..
but inside i knew that when the right time is there..the Spirit will guide me to speak of things which i needn't prepare for..
so when my sis handed me a piece of paper with some common interview questions..i put it aside..His words are good enough for any situation..
come to pro term..i started off badly..everyday waking up in fear..worryin whether i could get things right for 74men..
i had my fair share of being confined..but His grace reduced my 7 to a 5..
towards the end..He lifted me up and carried me through with His favour and grace..so much so that when i look back on my thailand trip..it was like a fairytale where His favour is just all around me..
and He yet again saw me through to an award..
seriously speaking..there are still many many cases whereby His grace is so evident..
i wrote them down in my notebooks...
and dec~..once again He makes it possible for me to attend church camp..
when anna told me that many ns people pulled out because of their ns commitment..
just so unbelievable..
if God is not real in ur life right now..what can be more real? ur own efforts to get what u want?your own sight to see in order to believe?
He's definitely moving in my life..
He's moving..

when u see...

when u suddenly see frequent entries by me..
it can only mean one thing..i've lots of time in my hands..
which's true..
i'm not used to inactivity..
hahaha..
not like i hate inactivity..but i've been like that for the whole week..
so usually during weekends..i would prefer to go into overdrive..and expend my energy..
i went for a swim..but in the afternoon.i had nothing to do..
i thought of going out for a run..but a voice tells me to rest..since i just ran yesterday..
u see..i've so much energy to expend that i would lace my running shoes any time..
or rather my pair of white sneakers for a dance at the club..
thankfully my friends..my good male friends psychoed me not to visit mos tonight..
but the night is still young at 2242..still early..
hahaha seriously the thing that's stopping me..it's not the crowd..
it's the moolah..
it's a big factor in pulling me home..

like urghs!
wat to do wat to do?
so i went to youtube..to watch some dance videos..
stupid rite..only makes me wanna dance...
and i kinda stupidly go friendster to check out her pictures..
mwhahaha..jus to see what she's been up to..
don't noe why..
but the happy pictures jus seem good..
and i feel glad lookin at happpy pictures as well..

the time now's 2245pm..
the night is still young..
my legs are itchy..
oh well..first time i'm experiencing hyperactivity..

and i thought they were guys

i went for a dip in the pool..
i figured that i just had 9-5=4 hours of sleep and my internal clock just screamed at me to wake up..
feeling sluggish..or lazy...i really din wanna drag myself for the dip..
but alas i went..
discipline..is doin something which u should do but u don't feel like doing because of laziness..
so i went for a snail pace 20laps..
feels good to be in the water for a change..
other than pounding my legs and my knees for that punishing run...
after that i went over to the singapore basketball association jus beside the pool..
and there was a match going on..
i thought it was a match between two male teams..
till i looked at the bench and was wondering why there were gals on the bench..
mixed team? cannot be wat..since when has basketball become a mixed team sport..
it then hit me that those guyish lookin players on the court were actually female..
yea..they weren't big..but all look boyish with their golden monkey coloured hair...
phoah..
i was quite amused by my findings..
anyways..saw the vj juniors playing there..singapore team..
good for them that they have these opportunities for the exposure to play for the national team.
basketball to me seems like a faraway thing..
but the team dynamics involved in a 5man team is much more appealing that the individualistic approach one takes in runnning..
in running..it's jus u..ur breathing..ur legs..ur mind..my God..and u discover urself by simply taking one step ahead of another even when ur body wails at you to take a walk..
it's a discipline..
mwhahhaa..
not like i'm talkin like a discipline master..

whereas a team sport..u celebrate together..u win together u lose together u train together..
everything is 'together'..u feel for ur teammate whenever he scores an important basket...

oh wells..i'm still on the discovery side..

anyways..comms ball's definitely much more interesting than the social night i had in service term..
hahaha...
it feels good to just let loose and talk cock like crazy..
few people can make me do that...
so yep shrink..she's one of the rare species left behind alr..mwhahaha...

anyways..maybe there was a plan for me not to go for ntu business school's party last tues..
my friends were goin and i thought i was going..
until i had to stay in camp..
turns out some people were there
not like i have anything against her already...
seriously if u ask me now if there's a possibility of being friends..
there is
yes..all but one year..
all but a new creation...
but yea..maybe a 'how do u do' will suffice...
there's no point in getting affected by what's happening in the external surroundings..
the world and what they do..
emotions go up and they go down..
but peace and joy stays constant..it's an inward peace that we feel..an inward joy that we know..
no matter what the world throws at us...
we are God's beloved..
His love's the same yesterday, today and forever more.
with such a constant love that is eternal..
how not to feel the joy?

i'm just thankful...

hmms..
where shall i start..
since the end of my engineer course..ive been placed in jurong for a good whole three weeks..busy with parade rehearsals all for the big commissioning day..
it came and went..
but it's something i'll never forget..
there are so many many many many things to thank God for..
perhaps i'll jus start with sat 9dec..
or rather the 3 weeks of rehearsals..
i still rem vividly that we started our first rehearsal on a hot saturday..
the sun burnt so crazily that i had a somewhat clownish tan line above my forehead..
on that day itself..
many people fell out maybe due to the weather, or the lack of drill conditioning in their pro term life..
i still rem seeing this commando in the contingent opposite mine..
he stood there..then he vomited..fresh vomit i mean..then he continued standing there..no one really tended to him..cos we are supposed to endure through the rehearsals..
then 5min later..another bout of vomiting came out...
i stood there watching him..it was an amusing sight..pardon me..
but yea..it was jus amusing..though i noe it's bad to laugh at people in such a predicament..
jus to sidetrack a lil..the first time i watched titanic..
there was this scene where the ship was sinking and it was perpendicular to the sea..
this man fell right down..hit one of the tables on the ship and fell into the water..
when i was in the cinema watching this with my sis..
i just laughed..till my sister had to ask me to stop...
anyways...
it is written..the sun will not harm me by day..nor the moon by night..a verse in the bible...
and yes Psalm 91 "ten thousand shall fall at my side, and a thousand at my right, but none of it will come near me"
okie..something along these lines..
but the Lord kept me safe under the scorching sun...
the subsequent rehearsals...they were more monotonous than tiring..
there was this particular day when the day was cleared of clouds..and the sun threatened to be at its best..but somehow there was this large gloomy cloud that covered the sun fittingly and it moved wherever the sun changes to its next position..
okies..this is the wrong description...science fanatics might just blast at me..
the cloud moved..the earth rotated and wherever the sun was..the cloud will always be covering it..isn't this His grace?
on the day when i took the beep test...
i was warming up..i looked towards the sky and i saw a rainbow...
yes a rainbow..
how often can we catch a rainbow...
hahaha...beats me..but i just feel thankful whenever i see a rainbow or a shooting star...
on the parade day itself...
we were standing on the parade square..and those gargantun dark clouds were rolling towards out direction...
i was so afraid that it was goin to pour..and having ur big day cancelled because of inclement weather isn't a good thing..since we've trained so hard for the parade..and nothing beats being commissioned on the parade square..
i just prayed in tongues..trusting Him..
and miraculously..it didn't rain...it drizzled a lil..but somewhoe the wind just pushed the dark clouds aways from the parade square..
i was observing the sky the whole time..though i'm supposed to look straight ahead..
look up look smart..
but i can't help lookin at the sky..
i was so thankful it didn't rain..
and at the last part...at the end of the parade..
i threw my cap high up into the sky and that's the moment i'll always rem in my life...
not about the rehearsals..not about the parade..
but the throwing of my cap..
it just feels so euphoric..
okies..maybe to my non ns readers..u won't really understand the feeling..but just think along the lines of feeling 'high'

anyways..on monday..we were goin to be posted to our new unit..
my instructor told me that initiation will start on the 18th..and immediately i felt affected..
i really wanted to attend church camp..
and i just totally lost it..
while we were in the tonner towards jurong..
i just sat in the tonner..jus thinking over this matter..
it poured heavily..
but i just sat in there..not knowing what to feel...
prayed in tongues..then at one point..i just told Him..no matter what state i'm in..i'll just praise You with all i am..regardless whether i can attend church camp or not..
i told Him..i'll put my trust in Him no matter what...
so when we reached jurong..i was anxious to know about my leave...
then there was rumours about initiation starting just aft Christmas..and i was filled with hope again..there's still a possibility that i might be able to attend the camp..
then during the introductory meeting..the S1 asked if anyone was going overseas..
i put up my hand..indicating the dates..
and while he was settling our leave for us...
i told him about my overseas trip..
and thank God..he shuffled the leave for me..so much so that i only need to stay in camp until this fri...
and i'll be on leave next week onwards..
meaning that i can attend the camp!!
when i heard it i was so so relieved and thankful..
this thing has always been on my mind since the time i signed up for the camp..
and alas!
thank God for giving me this opportunity to attend my first church camp...
and i'm lookin forward to a time of receiving His word..
in fact..for the past two days..i've been idling in camp..really doing nothing...
i even finished reading the book i bought for my instructor..
pastor prince's "spiritual warfare"
i read it before i went to my new unit..and what pastor says in the book..really helps me as i was sitting in the tonner thinkin...
his books are just so powerful..and i'm not really done with the scriptures in it yet...
i was so bored..i went runnning..i went gyming..
and today since there was nothing to do..
i requested to book out of camp...given that i'll book in tonight..
and i had an idea..
tmr's bible study..and maybe i can just leave the camp for bs..then book in at night..
hallelujah..
it was always my wish to attend bs more regularly...
because for my whole year..i couldn't attend regularly due to training...

anyways..for my commissionin parade..
i actually got pangsehed by my friend..(haha not u shrink but i'm referring to another one)
if u ask me..
the commissioning parade is an important thing to us..
because it symbolises the end of the 9month journey we took..
and we are all dressed in our smart and pristine white uniforms..
and for this..i chose to call friends whom i deem are closer to me..
seriously for this friend..i told her a month ago about the parade and everything..
but nearing it..she told me she had a friend's birthday celebrations on sat 9dec itself..
naturally i was disappointed..
like come on i told u a month ago..
maybe it may be awkward to attend the parade alone without being able to find any friend to come along with u..
but yea...
i told her a month ago and she said she would attend..
a month ago..u have a date to note on ur calendar..
but unfortunately..different people have different priorities..
ahha don't noe larh..
something which u think it's important for u..and u honour that friend to ask her to attend..it's natural to feel disappointed eh..

but it's okie...
in the end...none of my friends came..my study group friends came..in response to my study group friends' invitations..
and i'm thankful enough for that...
i told myself..maybe it's a parade whereby it's goin to be just Him and my parents with me on the parade square..
and i told Him..it's good enough..
u see..
friends come and go..
affection, care and concern from Man comes and goes..
one day it will fade..
but His love will never fade..
it's the same yesterday, today and forevermore..
His love is everlasting, eternal and ever so faithful..

so i don't think it will be any surprise if i stay single for a long time to come..
He alone is good enough for me..
nothing compares to Him..
no pretty girl walking down the street will compare to Him..
noobody..