203.58

203.58
go figure
i'm amazed at myself..

be patient

hmms..
the course at tekong..i should say that it has given me lots of time on my hands to daydream..
to think about how exciting my future will be...
after i ord..
travelling on my own..the thought of going to a mission trip..learning to drive..
learning to bike..i seriously don't know how many of these plans will come to pass..
but after thinking so much..
i've realised
matthew 6:33 "seek first His kingdom and righteousness, all these things will be added on to you.therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry for itself."

so many plans in which i've positive expectations of..
but i know..
live it day by day first..really..

i think this year..is really pointing me towards this verse..
there are so many plans..
but hey..slow down and just enjoy each day in His grace..
each day..each day..each day..
grace is more than enough for each day..
hallelujah

anyways..about biking..hmms..
it's like..a car is for u to drive around for most of the time..
but a bike is used for a real spin at night..
gets me kinda excited..

be patient!
what you do not have yet, you wait for it patiently.

sometimes ur mind is too preoccupied with your own finish line..u forget what you really asked God for in the first place..

i'm on a book on feminism now...
it's to keep me company on my long rides home..
and i won't want it to distract me from the course material i've to study..
which's coming up soon..

it's by Your grace..
that things will happen according to Your will..
be a sheep..
follow the shepherd and let Him lead me..
psalm 23 "the Lord is my shepherd, i shall not be in want"

running later at 10pm..

anyways..A level results will be out this friday..
i'm really excited..really..for those in the cg..or even for those whom i don't know..
cos i know..A levels..will bring with it many stories of grace..amazing stories of grace..
even if the results do not turn out as what u expect, just remember that whatever is given to us, it's from above. so what have we to complain?

alrights.i'm kicking away my bad habit of singlish in my entries.i'm trying to improve on my english and it starts right here-blogging
i haven't really looked through my whole entry yet but if you noticed, i'm trying to spell the word fully instead of abbrievations and whatnot.

a simple game of captain's ball today got me reminiscing about my basketball days.
the smell of the court, the screeching of kicks on the court, the whistle blowing, the fans cheering, the adrenaline pumping, the training for the game, i could almost smell it there and then.the competitive atmosphere.the warm up, the visualization, the pep talks, the team talks,
where once the whistle blows and the game kicks off.you click on your game and you just go.

so much for basketball
i pang-sehed my khakis on sunday for a basketball game
i woke up late and was lazy to go down.

no drive.
just run for now.
an individual journey.

running

i jus reached home
time check: 0017 hrs
have been travelling alot today
don't really want to waste time but the peer pressure..sighs..
i've loads of work to do alr..praise God for work.it gives me a purpose
not like i'm a workaholic
but it keeps me focused.
oh wells..
it's late
but i don't know why i feel like going for a run..
stupid tekong course is killing the shit out of me..
have to go to saf terminal every morning..
but anyways..that place brings back memories..
saf terminal..
loyang
tampines road
changi village..
the night cycling..
when i passed by saf terminal i still told myself i'm goin to report there in a few months time..
and a year has passed since i entered national service..
but i think what's more precious is who i talked to on my night cycling trip..throughout the whole changi stretch..
the dark never ending road..
run?

this particular pamphlet and particular lady

i was at jurong point today
was doin some recce
when i receive a flyer
u see usually when u receive a flyer..it's always about some offer..some discount stuff like that..
all singapore based..
but today i received a very special flyer
here it goes

AUSTRALIA NEEDS
MOTOR/DIESEL MECHANICS

you qualify to apply for Permanent Residence if you have
- Motor/ Diesel certificate
-at least 6 years of Motor/ Diesel experience
-Below 45 years old
-Vocational English

for a FREE assessment and consultation, call ALEXIA @62382919 or email: alexia@ocscglobal.com

please call to fix an appointment before coming to our office

i say it here first
Australia is a sensitive place to me. so don't mention about it!

nonetheless..i think the flyer's just..hmms..

after church..was walking towards the escalator that links the end of city link to suntec city convention centre
then this lady approached me..i knew it must be one of those irritating buggers
her first line was "excuse me your earring looks nice.where did u get it from?"
okie..she spoke in chinese larh..which got on my nerves even more.
i knew immediately that she was some promoter..
then she added on "i've something free to give it to you"
then she offered this small angbao packet..
i took it and asked "are u tryin to promote something here?", glancing at the booth but couldn't manage to find the company name around
she beckoned me to take a seat, not before adding in another lame comment "weather very hot must wear cap ah?"
all in chinese.
like hello..if u want to promote something..go straight to the point..don't make 5cent 10cent talk that only makes u seem even more irritating..and more psycho..
and to comment on someone's dressing..more so in chinese..is dissing me off. pricking on my tank.
she passed me a survey form and i filled it up.all these while she kept asking me to sit down.sit down..i was stubborn and stood..not until she told me "u must sit down..cos my boss around..so at least he sees that the people i talk to.they sit down for awhile"
then i turned soft. okie then.give her some face..
so we talked a lil
"u're officer ah?"
"ya"
"still on course or an officer alr?"
"commissioned alr"
then she started to go into savings
i cut her abruptly
"look i've been approached by so many of these companies.and i know i can get information when i want.i've told them time and time again that i'm not interested"
this time my tone was stern and sounded rude.
"oh then do u invest?"
i told her when the time is right..i'll jus noe when to invest and stuff like that
then she talked about being xian shi(practical)
and i cut her again
yes i noe xian shi says u must put your money here.put ur money there.things like tat but when the time is right for me to think about investing i'll
that's what i told her.
at this point in time.my tone softened.cos i reckon i was being too much of an arsehole alr..
i could really just sit there and talk to her about anything except the thing she's promoting..i felt i could keep on talking..
but i stopped mysef..
in the end.the conversation ended..she wanted to give me some julie biscuit as a freebie
but i refused it cos i'm not a hardcore Singaporean.everything free also must take
i even wanted to shake her hand to make peace but she didn't seem receptive
so adios!~

maybe it would have helped if she was a lil more presentable
but then again.
many a times presentable ladies from prudential aia have comed up to me and offer their savings plan.
i turned them down.

so many times i've been reminded of savings plan.
i'm under one now.not sure how good it is..
maybe..
if a fren intro me to a savings plan.i would listen to it..
instead of directly sitting down and listen to a promoter..

loveably lovely. wth am i talkin about.

hmms..
campus today was great..seriously great..
God spoke to me as the tears jus fell freely..like never before..
"know of My Love for you first.just know my love for you.that Jesus gave His all for you. before u can even step out and love others"

it's so real..
and coach lynne said this in the ambs meeting..
we must all know that we are loved by Him first..before we can go out and love people the way Jesus loves us..

Jesus is our qualification..
jus days ago i was thinking about stuff..
and yea..
today i jus talked to this meng guy..
he told me that maybe i can take acca before i enlist for smu acc..
might give me a headstart in geting internships..
yes.tat's practical advise..
and like waht i told my sister..
i don't want to do something jus to achieve it for some benefit..
i jus don't want to pursue the degree because it can so call secure me internships and stuff..
of course..practically speaking..it's true..
but when i do something..it's not doing it for the money and stuff.i must do it because i enjoy it and i want to do it.not because i do it just for the degree or money.
ta'ts why u see up till now..i haven't gotten a driving licence..
getting one can entail me using m dad's car..
but i don't see the rush..when i learn driving..i'll do it out of my freetime..and enjoyment..
in short..are u seeking just the finishin line..or are u seekin the process..
oh wells..blame morrie..my fren whom i read about in tues with him..
arsehole jus got me thinkin..
hahaha crude way like i noe morrie at the back of my fingertips like that..

anyways..pastor chin told us his story today..
that he stayed away from his wife for around 5 years..
and i was wondering..
staying away means? minimal contact? staying away from a relationship?
the time spent apart made them discover their own individuality in their walk with God..
and these 5 years..
it jus made them grow in their own way..
cos neither was really affecting each other's growth as a person.

and i was jus thinking..
this's really cool..

i don't know manx..
i think it's dumb to have someone jus for ur needs..
it's selfish..
although pastor said it's natural..
human all have needs..whether or not they show it explicitly or inplicitly

once u put expectations on a person..
and that person doesn't have it..disappointment sets in..
so why put expectations on people?

intertwined lives but u noe the sense of detachment when it's needed.

hmms

i can't do it on my own..
it's jus not my language..

it doesn't matter whether people appreciate the things u do or not.
as long as u do it without expecting any thing in return
it's called unconditional giving
how many people can boast of unconditional giving?

it doesn't matter.

retail therapy today was good..
i was on the streets at orchard.
chingay was on..throngs of people were buzzing around..
but i felt good walking down the streets.don't noe why.
even though i was with myself (take note i din use the term alone cos i din -feel- alone)
it felt good.
i'm a sucker for watches.
seriously.someone should jus stop my addiction to watches.
jus a few weeks after i've gotten a white classic adidas watch.
i went to get a model before the white one..
which is like phased out in all shops..
except for one at centrepoint when there's still an orange one left..

amidst the money spending..
i noe these things are temporary...
i don't base my life on them..
jus like wealth.
i won't base my life on wealth..like whether i have a car.a house.
i'm rich in my life already
cos i've Jesus

this abundant life i'm living

fly away

departures kinda suck
yea they do.

"it's jus another part of the world", u tell urself that.

so maybe i should just chill.rest and let God.

i had to run.
so when i reached camp aft airport
i ran 7 rounds.
all those pent up energy has to escape somewhere.
and i found it in running.

where's my heart at?
Him or him?

psalm 73
my heart and flesh might fail
but the Lord is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

these few days.have been thinkin alot though.
studies.uni.army.church.
i don't really pen them down in my blog..
instead all those thoughts go into my small diary.
maybe i shld have a sketch book as well..
cos sometimes i jus don't feel like writing, i feel like drawing instead.

"so when can i fly over?" i ask Him and i ask myself.

emo

emo
why ah..
have been observing these days.
or rather..been reading blogs..
people have been kinda emo these days..
sighs.
emo here emo there.
trip here trip there..

everyone jus relax and be cool

all things work together for the good of those who trust in the Lord
absence is a good thing.
distance is a good thing.
freedom is a good thing.

do not look at the man

shalom to the care group
peace to all

in the natural
human relationships will cause conflict..
there will inevitably be friction..
sometimes..someone might do something which really gets on ur nerves..or something which doesn't really go down well with u..

BUT
we are all bros and sistas in Christ.
called together for His purpose
not to have conflict.not to dislike what another did or do or tends to do

when u're angry with someone..
see immediately that it's not that person in Christ that u're angry with
it's the devil tryin to lame around

example?
let's say alvin(a.k.a. me) is superuber irritating...
everything i do or say..jus gets on others' nerves..

but when u look at me..don't look at me as alvin the man or person..
when u see that the real alvin is in not what i do but the real alvin is in Christ.u'll look away at how irritating alvin the man is..

so it's like
see alvin as ur bro in Christ
not alvin the man who irritates the shit out of u.

i'm not sure if this really helps for others.but it sure does for me..
powerful

shalom peace.

history maker six

irecently i've been listening to United We Stand
many songs in this album..they were used for praise and worship during history maker six..
and i can still rem clearly the songs..and the depictions of praise and worships back at that hall in malaysia..
the cries..the sobs..the laughters..the eerie struggle..the blackout..
when u're there and u see such things happening..
no it's not from the devil..it's from God..and he's powerful..more than u think..

sometimes..
doing nothing is the best..
jus having the presence around is good enough..

sunday monday tues weds thurs
sunday monday tues weds thurs
sunday monday tues weds thurs

i need a scrapbook

united we stand

what a great album that is..

still haven't got down to re reading little prince..
especially the part on the red rose...

anyways..i had a great read this week..
finish a book in like two days?
i need a drive to finish the book..and i had it..
i don't mind if people jus keep giving me books to read..
otherwise i wouldn't have bought them myself.
biographies..autobiographies will do..
i don't noe manx..i just love to read them..
to read the stories of others' lives..
just keep me intrigued...
a peek into their lives..
a voyeuristic feeling..
that's why people blog hop isn't it...

a little fairytale will do good..
or rather..a fairytale with philosophy integrated into it..

so much so that when i pick up a TIME magazine in the train last friday..
suddenly current affairs seem so boring..
i would rather plunge myself into some imaginary world..

but oh wells..
i finalyl understand why some people love reading to bits..
it's an escape..a relief from the realities of life..
it's like a drug.
where u just sit at a corner..flip open ur book..and u're entering the author's world..
an escape..

i tink i need to have more discipline..
when it comes to eating..
this month has been lull..
i can see the layers adding...

it's saturday

it's saturday...saturday..
time is running out..

hmms..but i know when u look back..u'll realise it's just part and parcel..
of leaving and coming back
of leaving and coming back
of leaving and coming back

kinda vague manx..

juz lazing around
on a lazy sat afternoon..

it's new year's eve?

not like there are any festivities..
cny is jus like a formality where some of ur relatives seem even more distant than your long lost friend...
fwalala
jus clowning around in this entry.
come to think of it.it's a long time since i last saw shrink..

epic's gross..
stay away from that movie
it's not even lame.
it's degrading to watch that kinda m movie
half nelson a second time would be a better choice.

too often we forget.

for what we have of this world is temporal.
but what is of God is eternal.
too often we forget this..
leaning towards Man to provide us for needs and blah blah..

ultimately it's salvation..
rest.let go.let God.

the 11 rounds were great..
made me feel better after binging on food today..
when u're bored..u tend to eat more
when u're tired u tend to eat more..
so u put these two reasons together..
u get a belly..

and it's ALREADY monday..

cats

cats..
i met this female cat on the streets yesterday..
wanted to seduce me..
kept on pointing her butt towards me..
if there's doggie style..i believe there's catty style as well..
oh wells..
yea..the cat was totally..hmms..i think she's kinda hormonally charged..
and someone can testify to that..

i like cats.as a pet..

while waiting for a bus yesterday..
i fell off my seat while sleeping!
it's the first time manx..
i was sleeping..the next time i knew..my whole body was hurled towards the ground..
instinct made my hands cushion the fall..
hilarious..
luckily no one was around at the bus stop..
otherwise..
phoah..
super pai seh..

gays and lesbians..
let there be light in these people's lives..

throw in a prayer for them...

that madrasah crab?

this crab pulls its fellow crabs down when they try to escape out..
picture this.
one crab tries to crawl out of the container that it is placed in
another crab sees this..and pulls the escaping crab down back into the container

are u a madrasah crab?



but it doesn't matter.

let Your light shine through.
and it will be done according to Your will.