forearms that ache

my knees closed in and tucked towards my chest.
my elbows are out of my knees, my arms straightened.
my head looks ahead, poised and determined to do it this time.
"Father it's your strength in me that allows me to get up and stand and glide"
slowly i feel the tug, a resistance. the resistance gets higher, my arms still straightened, i leaned my body forward as the resistance pulled me and i slowly got up, twisted the cable to my right and i finally realised i was gliding!

that's my first wakeboarding session btw.
good male fun with my army friends.
350 bucks for 4 hours.
50 bucks per person.

wakeboarding is really really really fun once you can glide on the water.
of course my forearms now are aching..
and i'm very sure i'm going wakeboarding again!

you just lie there on the speedboat, get a tan, and just relax.

of course i didn't say that when i started to stand up and glide, i tried around 20 times before i could do it praise the Lord.

i'm pretty tired physically, got around an average of 4 hours of sleep every day during this week.
and i just need to rest.
as much as i want to go shopping,
the thought of walking here and there just puts me off a little.

it's all about this energy thing.
if i was well rested during the week, shopping wouldn't be a problem.
and i still need to prepare for my long run tmr..

Father all this while, you are teaching me humility.

and then somewhere in proverbs.
"Before honor, there is humility"
thank you Father
all my life is Your preparation and strengthening.

my Jesus and my bible

i got a new bible and i like the smell of it!
i have always wanted a NKJV but i didn't get down to buying it, thinking that maybe Father will drop one to me as a gift from someone.
till i think that the time waiting is enough. I really want to get it and indeed i did,
and there can be no better time than to get it on the 8th Sept 2007
notice the number 8
i did not even plan for it but i just felt a strong urging to get a new bible.
and as i checked the date on my watch and what Father has spoken to me before Arrow service,
it's really a new beginning
a journey of a more intimate walk with Jesus and my Father.

praise God.
I feel like a new creation all over again.
and our Father really answers.
yesterday i just asked Him to show me the verse Anna was talking about in Isaiah
But that book has so many chapters.
how to possibly find the verse?
and today during service God just dropped the verse to me in Psalm 104
even though it's not in Isaiah,
but i still got the verse today about the heart
Ps 104:15 And wine that makes glad the heart of man,
Oil to make his face shine
and bread which strengthens man's heart

And while i was bathing just now, He brought to my remembrance Ps 73:26
My flesh and my heart fail;
But God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever

and i'm not talking about emotional strength this time..
i'm talking about physical strength of the heart.
recently there have been so many attacks in the world on sudden cardiac arrests
sudden deaths where people just drop dead
fit people
athletes

but i'm covered by His blood
and not only the broken bread is the strength of my heart
God is the strength of my heart
God
God
who else can give more strength than God above?

so i can just run without any fear
to continue to train as the Spirit leads.
and even when i run, it's not my strength.

one thing i have asked my Father constantly

"strip away all of my own strength, and let Your strength come in and be glorified"

After all if you don't die to your false self, how can God come in?

of stoned and seasoned hearts, or so you think.

looks like it isn't appropriate to probe in further.
she puts on a steely front with those standard answers.
well
it takes God's favour for people to share their stuff with you
morevoer, it's been quite a long time since there was any exchange of words.

i really don't know what's His hand is in the timing of these two events
almost happening simultaneously..

wells

ths sights of a geylang alley

i went to the gym today (finally!)
from the gym to my place, it's approx 30min a walk away
it sucks because i don't really like walking. i'm still waiting for my course to end before getting a bike on my own. the thing is, my dad isn't really for the idea but heck, a bicycle is like a young boy thing. i always wanted a bicycle but didn't get one because of space constraints.
that's where you go from here.
Masculinity bestows masculinity
yes no doubt he is concerned about my safety
but like i said, a bicycle is a guy thing so let me have it manx.
i'll just be riding all around singapore with it.

i thought that cutting into an alley would be a shortcut to my house
looks like there isn't any difference
and i was walking through an alley filled with prostitutes and men
i was trying to double my pace through that alley
i didn't even want to look at those people lining the streets
when i passed a particular place, this guy held my hand gently, and i suppose he's some pimp
my left hand went up immediately, refusing him and my face at that time was pretty serious, given that i've to walk so much and sweat was gathering around my skinnies.

seriously, the lure of lust is a snare, a trap, an addiction.
fly away from it
i'm not going to walk through that alley again.

what is He trying to tell me here?

my dad dropped me off at national stadium gym.
it was closed just for today after 6pm due to the SSC family day..
i did not read the notice carefully
sped off to toa payoh thinking that the gym over there would be opened.
to my dismay and horror, i saw the same notice.
it reads that "ALL SSC facilities are closed on 6sept from 6pm onwards due to SSC family day"
made me pretty sians after that..
i should not even have taken a cab down to toa payoh in the first place..
and then i was thinking.
"Lord you put me in the right place and right time? or am i not flowing in the Spirit? how come i didn't hear anything not to go to the gym today?"
but yea as these qns raced through my mind..
i just decided to still myself..
went back to circuit road and walked past the hawker centre which i patronised frequently as a kid
as i walked past the stalls, the old seemed to vanish while newer stalls take their place.
just had this old school feeling inside me as i walked past.
well, my fav plate of fried beehoon hasn't changed much.

anyways i was talking about the book Anna and Kelly gave to me.
i would like to put down some points which really shook me hard.
pg 113
"I mean you stop looking to her to validate you, stop trying to make her come through for you, stop trying to get your answer from her."
"A man does not go to a woman to get his strength; he goes to her to offer it. You do not need the woman for you to become a great man, and as a great man you do not need the woman"

i mean to put it in gender equality terms, you switch the man with woman, and i think we are talking about different dynamics here.
before any feminist readers wave up their hands and ask fervently "why should a man offer his strength to a woman? aren't we women strong enough that we don't need anything from men?
just remember i'm not promoting any chauvinism right here.
these lines are just for people who find their acceptance from one another, regardless of gender.

everyone is searching for an answer in everything they do.

i think i better stop right here.
many a times there are still so many thoughts in my head that i would really want to blog out here.
but due to the content, i think it would be better if i tell you in person of what i think of some people.

what is He trying to tell me here?

You're worth everything, You're loved by the King

to Eugene, Ezer, Kelly, Trina, Michelle, Christine,Jaslyn, thanks for taking time off to be there for dinner together
To Serene, Kiat Howe, Weizhong, Jimmy, Alvin, Andrew, Jixian, Joel, Joey for your lovely wishes,
To Bernice for your uber super early msg,
To Kelly for your Spirit-led choice in your book,
To Ezer for your card,
To Anna for your book that's identical to Kelly's =)

That book has blessed me in more ways than one.
and i realised in that critical hour, those whom God has shown me are those who are in my cg or church community.
In the cg where i feel safe.

share the joy.

praise God for the spare time from 730pm to 9pm before ratoutuille.
the time and chance just presented itself for jimmy and me to share and open up a lil, at least on my part.
it's a joy to hear people sharing. don't ask me why but especially jimmy and his stories.
there comes a time when we will realise "hey, we all have a part to play in this body of Christ", whether it is listening someone out, tending to a newcomer in the cg, calling up people, or even just talking and interacting with the people in the cg.
even in non-cg matters, Christ in us gives us the annointing to share with Christians or non-Christians with people we meet at our workplace, our friends and basically just anyone that He has placed in front of us.

the rat movie is nice no doubt, pretty hilarious as well.
just that i was pretty tired yet again, i've been out since 9 in the morning, got a lil burnt
and it didn't really help when the movie was set in the beautiful place of paris.
and the soundtrack actually have this really joyous french song.
which made my mind wander again.
i fell asleep for awhile during the movie, bad habit i should say
and after the movie ended, i didn't really bother to speak much.
all because of paris.