Posture of Rest

in the flurry of activities that need to be done,
the perfectionist in me can be a thorn in the flesh.
forgive one another just like how Jesus has forgiven me.
Love one another just like how Jesus loves me.

Train me, teach me, whatever to have this spirit of humility and excellence.

Righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.

All things work together for the good for those who love Him.

on a side note, soccer yesterday was really fun and briliiant.
in fact before the game yesterday, i was kinda excited as it's been such a long time since i last played a team sport.
running has been pretty much an individual thing after all.
after a certain distance at a certain pace, it's going to be you against yourself.
in a team sport, somehow the bonding that transpires among one another just pushes the level of bonding up to another platform.

my diet has been decreasing for these few days.
and i don't really know why.
somehow rice just seems kinda 'heavy' to me.

Celebrate running.
i can't wait for sunday.
can the hours just fly by or something?

A reminder.

yes. thank God for such a reminder.
to just soak in His Word and Spirit first, before going out there and doing great exploits in the kingdom of God.
even though there's continuous conversations with Him, i've not opened the gospel of grace for the Word to strengthen and build up my inner man.
and yes He shall hear this prayer.

recently there's a spate of events happening to sportsmen all over the world that shows so clearly that the thief tries to take away people who are making their names out there in the sports scene.
at the olympic marathon trials not long ago, this professional runner by the name of Ryan Shay collapsed just after 5km into the marathon. He did not regain his senses since then.
just yesterday a football player was robbed and shot in his leg at his home. He died due to excessive loss of blood.
Closer to home, the dragon boat tragedy just seems to paint a stark picture of how fragile life is, only when we live not knowing that the curse has been reversed for us by Jesus at the cross.
As i woke up to MOnday's papers, as i read the death of these guys, muscular guys, guys whom you see every weekend at suntec city with their board shorts and muscle singlets, it just reminds me once again that muscles can only take you so far.
or in the olympic trails case, a seemingly good stamina can only take you so far.
as i sat there looking at their faces, worldly thoughts and fears just somehow creep all around, till i just sat there and confessed that Jesus has reversed all these curses for us at the cross..
we really may not know what these people beliefs are.

and this fear was amplified by brian's choice of words when i met him on tues.
he just said "yes everyone was safe and nobody died" to me about his sailing earlier on in the day.
woah. powerful words which speak of the concerns or rather the fears that seem to arise from the recent events.
as long as fear arises, people start wondering if they should still continue this sport, continue doing the thing they love and what God has gifted them to do, then you know it's simply just the thief who's at work....but works in vain.


Jesus reigns in my life.
so let's celebrate running this sunday.
it's not I by Jesus who will break under 3hr30min for me.

My grace is sufficient for you, My strength is made perfect in your weakness.

I just got a reminder during this period of time that my flesh can't be trusted.

it's not about what i do or what i didn't do, it's about what Jesus did for me at the cross.
it's a reminder that i need a living Savior everyday.

where sin abound, grace SUPER abounds.

Sin shall have no dominion over me as i'm not under the law, but under grace.

it's exciting to know that when God is preparing you for another level of His glory, the thief will try to do something.

But God He reigns.

My grace is sufficient for you, My strength is made perfect in your weakness.

I just got a reminder during this period of time that my flesh can't be trusted.

it's not about what i do or what i didn't do, it's about what Jesus did for me at the cross.
it's a reminder that i need a living Savior everyday.

where sin abound, grace SUPER abounds.

Sin shall have no dominion over me as i'm not under the law, but under grace.

it's exciting to know that when God is preparing you for another level of His glory, the thief will try to do something.

But God He reigns.

Jesus' Beloved

i've been wanting to blog for quite some time already..
but i guess all my words have been spoken out to Him, and that's enough.
anyways.
it's quite sad to read others' blog and read their struggles.
not that i do not have any sometimes.
but when you read about what they are going through, it kind of presses me inside to see that all it takes is to surrender whatever human effort in keeping to some code of conduct, principles or in short LAW, and just be so conscious about Grace who's living in us, working towards us and through us, only when we are so conscious of His glory in us.

it hurts because these are people close to my heart

in fact over a certain period of time, i've shyed away from some blogs simply because every time i've read the blog, i just feel a tinge of sadness, not on my own but an induced sadness.
where's the joy in that?
of course everyone has his freedom to rant their innermost thoughts and feelings down and i thank God for honesty.
at the same time, i also yearn to read of entries that edify me after i've read them.

Abba loves me. Jesus loves me. The same God whom you have known since young has been loving you much more than you think you love yourself.
The same God whom you have known since young has been wanting to bless you much more than you think you are already blessed.
Seek Him first.

the heat.

i'm still learning.
today's msg's good once again.
i know chariot's of fire is a good movie. i should watch it before this sunday's marathon.

"I would have to break you up into pieces, and put you back together after that"
"Break me up in alvin, and mould me together in Christ"

seriously, i still have this fear of man sometimes.
i can still taste my flesh working up sometimes.
i know it's the flesh and i'm dead to it, alive in Christ.
if God is my helper, who can be against me?
sometimes i get too caught up with pleasing man, that i'm not conscious of how much glory that's in me and coming out of me.
yes. this's training for me.

anyways while sitting in during the service just now,
things were just running through my head, it seems like there are "so many things" to get done.
am i delegating enough?
or am i keeping too much for myself to handle?
amidst all these stuff, i was just reminded that it's a privilege to help out, a privilege to be a blessing.
i'm blessed to be a blessing.
yes i'm going to get that temp job in Jesus' name. i speak this in His faith.

i hate the flesh, i'm dead to flesh, alive in Christ.

looks like that 8day getaway in china was a huge blessing..
that before and during the trip, i just told Him that hey, let this trip be a rest. be a rest before anything else.
and when i came back from China, praise the Lord there are so many kingdom activities that i'm more than privileged to be a service to Him.
I'm more than privileged to be of a service to Christ.
it's not an entitlement.

in my flesh, i have nothing that i can offer.

God loves a cheerful giver.

Love, Nicholas and kids.

once again, when human strength isn't enough, where there is nothing, God's grace will provide everything.

just like an ovum and a spermatozoa, from just these two cells come division into a life form.

even though i was away from china, when i came back and i saw all those painted cardboards done up by the publicity people, it's so so evident how much effort have been put into those paintings each day. i seriously don't know what drives them to labour in such love, but for me i just know that God isn't unjust to forget our labour of love.

and the cheerful giver in 2 Cor just speaks to me right now at this period of time.
yesterday before i opened the bible, i just prayed in tongues and when i opened it up, God brought me back to the same cheerful giver passage. And it's so exciting knowing that each time when i open the bible, it's going to be God's direction in those hands.
it certainly excites me, just after this period recently when i was reading the bible more like a novel than a book of life.
instead of pausing and meditating on just a verse for a season, i was like "touch and go", which i ddn't feel right about it.

anyways, really really i'm awed by God's grace in this whole carnival altogether, from the committee heads to the helpers of God to anyone who has a part in one way or another, in fact as long as you are in JC cluster, you have a part in this.
a body of Christ with each part working together. no one part is more important than the other.

during the hugs just now, God's love just filled me up so overflowing that when coach gary closed in prayer and i was just beside nicholas, hearing him sing "Jesus loves me yes i know, cos the bible tells me so" just moved me almost to tears.
tears not out of pity or sympathy, but when the hug was given forth, just whispering "Jesus loves you" into their ears is almost like Jesus telling the same thing directly to me.

praise God. i think i've run out of words to describe the experience of God's love through me and towards me just now.

Psychic spies in China

"Psychic spies from China try to steal your mind's elation"- Californication by Red Hot Chilli Peppers

my ideal holiday will be any retreat that involves physical exercise, whether it is kayaking in the waters off another country, climbing some arduous mountain, cycling and navigating through unknown streets, or camping overnight in the woods.

that's why you can see that when i was in china for 8 days, it felt like eternity to me.
yes i'm very blessed to have a family of 7, yes 7 with me over in china.
this family time, was somewhat marred by my own selfish sense of what was an interesting holiday to me.
but still, i thank God for family reunion that He is working in right now, and then family SALVATION!!
for the whole trip, i just relaxed, encompassing many ways of relaxation that you can think of.
Sleeping at any chance i have in the tour bus, eating much carbs and then sleeping again, eating much and then sleeping again, and choosing to continue sleeping when the rest have alighted the bus for a tourist attraction stop (which is usually some 'medicine' peddling or 'jade' peddling place)
a part of me knew that i should just switch on my mp3 and drown myself in the messages,
a part of me just wanted to listen to Christian music instead and relax and drift off into sleep,
a part of me just wanted to listen to worldly music like Red Hot Chilli Peppers.

why i chose to listen to the second and the third option is basically very simple- listening to a sermon would require me to sit up and listen attentively, because i wouldn't want to put on a sermon and just drift away, which defeats the purpose.
and of course the third option is just allowing myself a little bit of rock emo music in RHCP.
ever since i read the lead singer's biography and how he came up with the lyrics of the band songs, i just wanted to listen to their songs and match the lyrics to what the lead singer was experiencing at that time when he came up with the songs, which is pretty much in a junkie lifestyle that he was leading.wells

i'm thankful i purchased a book at the eleventh hour, two days before i left for China in fact, another biography of Bill Bowerman, the man behind Nike. That book really gripped me and i just read as and when i could, finishing the book by the end of the trip.
i'm actually looking forward to some biography by some mountain climber, or finshing where i left off in lance armstrong's bio.
why a mountain climber? cos i was just relishing the amazing scenery that China offers in her rolling mountains and some even snow-capped since it's winter over there, the thing is that these mountains were around 4000m high and they already look so gargantun in size, what about Mount Everest that will probably reach into the heavens above?
and hence mountain climbers are an amazing lot, braving the temperatures and the altitudes to reach the top.

despite my boredom, God is still faithful. God is still faithful.
His fingerprints are all over my trip, and it's these little things that we should be thankful for, which makes it even more exciting.
these fingerprints, i will rather share in person or write it in another entry.

sidetracking, i'm kinda disappointed by Michael Jordan's divorce in the papers.
after 17 years of marriage, he is calling it quits with his wife.
An affair marred his marriage, and definitely other undercurrents rocking.
but yea Michael Jordan, once a role model and superstar, is stll human after all in his once reported gambling habits and now his marriage.
so yea where's the role model in him now??????????????

Grace.

when dealing with kids, youths, adults and old people
you just need His grace and wisdom.
and Grace is needed in ALL areas.

i'm flying off to china for the next one week.
initially i was telling people i don't want to go to china, or rather a holiday since i'll be away from singapore when there are some things to be done.
but then again no one is indispensable
and hence for the past two days, when i thought of how i'm going to be at the aiport in a few hours' time, sitting the airplane and just enjoying China's scenery in its mountains, i just thank God and this beat of excitement actually stirred up in my heart.

and yes like what anna shared.
i'm leaving on the 8th and coming back on the 15th.
a new beginning back to the aggressive rest unto His finished work for this season for me right now.
so Lord i really leave the temp job in your hands.

The blessings of the Lord are on the head of the righteous, Amen.

fish and bread

praise God.
when we are nothing and have nothing in our flesh, God supplies us more than abundantly.
then we will boast of His glory alone.
=)