Alive, breathing and soaking in His love

apologies for my dearth of entries.
nowadays i'm using the comp either to check mail or to type my reports.
i'm alive, breathing and soaking in His abounding love for me.
and yes, i'm really really favoured in my workplace, in my trainings.
it's when i don't feel like it but still do it anyway, God increases the most.
it's a job where i don't go by what i see, but i just know God does His work.
=)

leadership by example.

today's message blew me away.
behold glory and i'll be transformed into His glory by His spirit.

there are still spots which i'm bringing them to God for Him to deal with it.

In the shadow of Your wings

I will follow after You as long as my soul lives
I will lift up my hands unto thy name O Lord
my mouth shall praise You
because You've been my help

In the shadow of Your wings will i rejoice my Lord
Your loving kindness overwhelms my soul O Lord
and I will bless You
I will love You all my life

beautiful.
actually i'm trying to keep blogging alive.
i realise i've not been sharing much on my blogging medium.
i would rather talk to people about it.
and when there's a continual conversation going on with Him
other things just seem unnecessary
or maybe i'm just pure lazy.

oh wells. updates.
honestly, i think i'm living His abundant life right now.
as much as i'm tired from my work, i enjoy what i'm doing.
where yesterday night was the first time i saw "8hours 4minutes left to your alarm" on my handphone.
the rest of the nights were always "4 hours and so and so minutes left to your alarm"
sleeping on average 4 hours every night. waking up at 515am for wed to fri.standing all the way till 4 plus 5pm.

i need to catch up on my sleep.really.
that when i took a nap of 2 hours just now. it just didn't seem enough to me.
and yes where do my exercise time fit in?
leaving it to Grace.

and i realised i've just been 'arrowed/appointed' to head a project for befrienders.
when i first saw the email, i was pretty reluctant. like "huh? why me?"
when i'm beginning to be so busy with my work and stuff"
but then again, this book titled 'spiritual leadership' really spoke to me.
"any work given to the Lord is never too insignificant"
and it just reminds me, yes i can be so busy, yes i can be so lazy as well, i even contemplating to step down from befrienders for awhile. yes that thought really ran through my mind when i found out about the project thing.
i then realised, who am i doing this project for?
is it for His glory or is it for man's purposes.
in fact today while i was thinking about it.
i think this employment is good. it means that i've been resting aggressively unto His finished work in my life.
hahaha.
and another thing in the book spoke to me. i've not finished the book yet, cos i think reading it too quickly would rob me the chance of really pausing and receiving the things in it.
that whatever we do, we give our best.
not in the worldly sense where everyone can say "do your best"
but because God did His best when He gave His only Son to die for us, likewise when we do anything in our life, we give our best to Him.
this spirit of excellence that God is training me in.

Serve out of rest.
Cutting edge.
Excellence.

training training

yep training training not in the physical sense but that's what i'm doing now in my temp job.
for those who don't know what it is about,
i'm attached to school to give the students talks ranging from leadership modules, living and learning solutions.
and trust me i need lots of grace for this job.

in terms of handling noisy students,
students with disciplinary problems.
it's really a job where i learn to die to self and really stand on His word knowing that seeds are definitely being sown regardless of whether i can see or feel.

and yes, out of my few sessions of training and facilitating so far,
i realise that God is training me how to handle difficult situations with more composure and rest within.
on my first session of training on thurs, my class was the last class to set up in terms of logistics.
i was still running around the whole unfamiliar school to try to find my colleagues for a laptop to set up the stuff.
imagine walking all around the school, with the clock ticking away, knowing that u're already 30mins late even though u arrived at the school 40mins before the start time, just because of a laptop that isn't available.
naturally i was swearing under my breath all the way as i was walking briskly all around the school.
after 3/4 of this time has passed, something just dawned on me.
yes i might feel flustered, yes i might have that worry of starting late and not being able to finish on time, but i realise He was telling me to cultivate a praise consciousness ALL THE TIME regardless of the situations that i face.
mischievous students? praise the Lord. Obedient students? praise the Lord. students who don't listen? praise the Lord.

praise Him in all situations, even if the situations are really really sucky to the flesh.
that i am learning through Him.

and i'm glad though this is the first week of official work for me, i already feel that God is strengthening me in some way or another. i don't quite know what it is that He's strengthening me in, but i know definitely things happen the way they are because God wants me to go through certain situations to learn to strengthen myself in Him, instead of cursing.
=)
and i'm thankful for that.